Break-up Films: Best and Worst
Recently three of my guys friends (Johnny, Robbie and Zack) went through a break-up. And there’s only so much you can do for someone mending a broken heart…listening to them, being there, hugging, etc. But also watching movies helps too…especially when there’s nothing you can really say to make it all better.
Top Three:
Forgetting Sarah Marshall: Not only is it funny but it’s oh-so-true. At first you’re laughing at how pathetic Jason Segel’s character is but then you realize that you’re in the same situation—which either makes things darkly comic or just plain sad. The whole film is filled with great scenes—a lot of the best ones are at the beginning: right after the break-up. Also fun to watch while eating cereal in sweatpants. Best Lines:
Surfing Instructor: When life gives you lemons, just say “Fuck the lemons,” and bail.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: At some point, all of us have wished to erase someone from memory. You’d never even miss them right? Along with the bad memories, you erase the good ones. Right after a break-up, this might not be the best film…but towards the end of the “mourning period,” it’s almost comforting because there’s acceptance of the break-up. Best Lines:
Joel: Random thoughts for Valentine’s Day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.
Closer: This is my personal break-up film. I usually just sit on the couch in my jammies, rewinding the same lines over and over. The basic premise of the film is fucked up relationships and no matter how bad my situation is…theirs is (usually) worse. There are so many lines that express the anger one feels after being broken or cheated on. You’ll sit there cheering on every “fuck you!” Best Lines:
Dan: You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram. Larry: Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood! Go fuck yourself!
Bottom Three:
The Notebook: Worst break-up movie of all time. Yes, it might be one of the most romantic films ever but it should never be watched under any emotional stress. Once, I watched this when I was on my period and I couldn’t stop crying—and I don’t even like The Notebook. It’s even worse during a break-up (in fact, avoid Nicholas Sparks alltogether) because Allie and Noah break-up…..and they fucking get back together and live happily ever after. You have a better chance of getting a ticket for jaywalking than getting back together with a past lover. Worst Lines:
Young Noah: So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? Thirty years from now, forty years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.
Titanic: I grew up with this movie—saw it four times in grade school. And it was amazing. Now it’s a little cheesy (but secretly still amazing). However, it’s still bad to watch after a break-up. Not because the couple in the movie overcomes impossible odds—but because one of them dies. And no matter what you dealt with in your break-up, they never died. This movie is especially bad if you’re still in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Worst Lines:
Rose: I’ll never let go.
Jerry Maguire: Again with the whole breaking-up-and-getting-back-together-thing. Although it’s not as romantic as The Notebook, somewhere along the line you probably watched it with your guy (or girl) because it’s entertaining for both people, right? And then all the old feelings come rushing back and you start thinking: “Why-oh-why did I let him go?” Because he’s an asshole, that’s why. Worst Lines:
Jerry Maguire: I love you. You… you complete me. And I just… Dorothy: Shut up, just shut up. You had me at “hello”.
What do you tend to watch (or not) after a break-up?
